EXPRESSING YOUR TRUE VOICE THROUGH MENOPAUSE
I think that we all get a bit of a wake-up call when we first encounter perimenopause.
It can be quite a shock to us that our body, which has been a fairly reliable packhorse throughout our lives, suddenly becomes a wild bucking bronco – it’s a challenge to stay on!
Apart from the discomfort of a long list of tangible physical and mental perimenopausal /menopausal symptoms, that can range from mild to life-altering, there is also the factor of the more intangible changes to consider:
Lack of confidence
Feeling useless or ‘past it’
Not feeling sexy anymore
I could go on, but I’m sure you get my drift if you’re here reading this.
And it’s not like you just wake up one day and feel these changes all at once; it’s more like a gradual immersion into a murky lake where you can’t really tell where you’re treading anymore – it all feels a bit sludgy!
Of course, this has an effect on how we express ourselves in life, how we relate to our partners, the people we work with, our friends and family and of course the most important relationship of all – the one that we have with ourselves!
So stick with me and let’s wade out a little further – I promise you the lake is clear and very refreshing if you just get past that sludge!
Because one of the things I’ve really loved about menopause – YES LOVED! Is that my relationship and my connection to myself has really deepened and it has brought me much joy.
Earlier in my life, everything was about everyone and everything else – the kids, my husband, my parents, friends and my work – and even though I meditated and practised different self-development modalities, I didn’t really live in a way that was self-caring or truly connecting to myself.
Then perimenopause came and BAM – wake up call!
I found it difficult to meditate anymore
Certain foods that I ate made me feel bad
I didn’t sleep well, work well, remember well
OMG, what was happening?
Self-care was no longer an option.
I could go on and on about self-care from how I changed my eating and drinking habits to how I brought purpose to the act of going to bed, changed the way I moved around the house and the way I spoke and interacted with all the people in my life – but the how’s and why’s of self-care are very personal and constantly evolving – we begin with one step and it leads to another as we become more and more delicate with how we treat ourselves.
But WHAT self-care did for me and how it helped me through menopause IS important.
Because it changed my whole expression and led to a connection with myself that has made menopause a breeze.
This change in expression affected everything because, although we often think of expression as just the way we communicate, it’s actually everything we do. From our thought process, decision making, choices, movements, intentions to our actions and inaction – in other words, it’s everything – and the amazing thing is, it’s spherical 360 degrees!
What I mean by that, is that it comes right back at ya!
You express in a more self-caring, self-loving way and you get that straight back into your body…
And, quite magically your symptoms actually feel easier to deal with – and they reduce. My hot flushes were reduced dramatically just by cutting out dairy from my diet and not drinking alcohol which was a direct result of listening more to my body and moving more in harmony with it.
When you express from a connection to yourself, from the stillness within you, you start to trust the wisdom that flows and which, I believe, is accessible to all of us – At least the people I’ve worked with have all expressed this.
So reducing symptoms and feeling more purpose can be a direct result of reconnecting to ourselves.
But how do we do that?
What is reconnecting all about and how do we do it and what’s the voice got to do with it?
When I work with people and their voices to enable them to feel more confident about how they express themselves, the first step is to reconnect to the whole body.
We’re often in our heads and distracted by beliefs, mindset, projections, and conditions that are quite a filter on what can otherwise be quite simple – and that’s where the body comes in.
We’ve forgotten how to listen to our bodies and tap into the wisdom that they hold – and our own voices can help us to do just that. Quite literally – if you focus on your voice, you are emphasising the vibrational quality of what is within rather than reacting to what is outside.
So, let’s make this specific to menopause.
Take your hot flush – you can’t avoid it, you can try to get around it by fanning yourself etc. but if you really FEEL into your body, you’ll notice the anxiety in the pit of your stomach and the feeling of trying to escape the sensation – what is trying to escape?
Reconnect by humming deep into your pelvis, or bring an ooh from just below your belly button – bring an intention of gentleness to this action (from the in-breath to the sound that comes out) and really focus on the area where you want the sound to go.
You may feel the vibrations deep within your body and a deep sense of healing that your voice brings with its own gentle vibration.
Connecting in this way helps you to feel what your body needs too. You may feel that alcohol, coffee, too much spicy food and sugar or too much stress at work can affect you and make them worse –
that’s the call
What will your response be?
Take brain fog – it became a problem for me at work so I needed to listen to my body. It needed more stillness during the day (not inactivity, but steadiness in the foundation of how I moved and expressed) and it led to an improvement in the presence and organisational skills.
I’ve been helping people to discover their authentic voice for many years and I do so holistically because we cannot be a part of what we are – you cannot separate your voice and just think of it as vocal cords – every vibration of sound is flowing through your whole body and that vibration began as an impulse of energy.
When we begin to think in terms of energy, we could ask ourselves, ‘what am I aligning to, or emphasising, before I express?’
And we can choose – YES, we can choose to align to a self-loving expression – and that is transformational during menopause.
I worked with a fabulous expression coach myself, Chris James, who tells us that every voice is beautiful. I loved his way of getting us to express and bring our voices from the whole body instrument. After a few workshops, I began using these techniques for myself and with my clients too and the results still amaze me.
I don’t work with women in menopause persé but many of my clients have been menopausal and they’ve all given reports of feeling calmer, more present, less stressed, a lessening of symptoms and a general feeling of coming back home to themselves. All of them began to be more self-caring – at least for the time, we were working together.
So, if the voice can help us to reconnect, and reconnection helps us to be more settled, clear and express ourselves with wisdom during this amazing time of our lives, we can also feel that this reconnection helps us to express more authentically and lovingly in our relationships, at work, in our businesses, and in our families.
I’m a transformational coach and holistic vocal therapist.
I help expression to flow, for harmony to be our natural state and for you to access the wisdom within you.
Your voice IS beautiful – it’s the manifestation of the vibration within you that is unique and ready to give all that you are here to give. It has the power to heal and enrich – it is never less than anyone else and it is always truly you when you connect with the stillness within your inner heart.