Sex during the Menopause

During the menopause, the female body starts to reduce the amount of oestrogen and testosterone it produces.

Along with all of the other effects this can have, it can also lead to the loss or reduction of sex drive.

Many women may begin to notice that they are not aroused as easily, and their bodies are a lot less sensitive to touch and stimulation. And because of this along with many other factors, a woman has to face during this time in her life, her interest in activity partaking in any form of lovemaking may result in a loss of interest in sex.

Lower levels of oestrogen can lead to a reduction in the blood supply to the clitoris and the lower vagina. Because of this many women can find sex painful as the natural lubrication a woman produces can reduce, leading to dryness of the vagina making any form of sex sore.

Other factors that may influence a woman’s level of interest in sex during menopause and after is…

  • Bladder control problems
  • Sleep Disturbances
  • Depression and Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Medications
  • Health Conditions

This is no means an exhaustive list, as there are also many other difficulties, and pressures that women can face.

  • Being in an unhealthy relationship
  • Pressure at work
  • Lack of empathy from a partner or family
  • Caring for elderly parents.
  • Supporting children that are still at home.

I am sure you could add many other areas to this list.

However, there are somethings that we can do to help improve this area of our lives. After all just because we are going through a change of season does not mean that we have to turn into an unwatered lotus flower.

One of the first things that we can do is speak to a health care practitioner. Whether that be a GP or a Menopause Specialist.

Useful Contacts

There are many options on the market that can help with areas such as uncomfortable sex due to dryness. These are:

Vaginal Moisturisers such as Replems, or Yes Yes.

Your GP may prescribe estradiol vaginal inserts

I have listed a few links below:

If none of these work and you are still suffering or you have additional symptoms such as 

Consistent UTI’s

Bleeding during or after sex

Unusual discharge

Besides medical intervention, there are also other ways in which we can improve intimacy with our partners during the menopause.

The first and obvious way is to have open and frank conversations about the changes that are occurring with your body, and how it is affecting your ability to feel aroused.

Consider using distraction techniques to boost relaxation and ease anxiety. Maybe plan a date night at your favourite restaurant, or prepare a picnic in the garden.

Explain your need to feel loved and cherished, and that you still want intimacy even if full sexual intercourse is to difficult.

Have fun with foreplay, and sensual massage. There are plenty of ways in which you can be intimate with one another which will help to bring you closer together.

But above all, it is important to talk, and if this is proving to be difficult then speak to a friend, or join our Facebook community or our online forum. We are here to support one another.

And if you feel that you need professional help then please contact an organisation such as Relate.

Above all, you are not alone.

We are all in this together, so please reach out because we all want to support one another.


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